Let’s be under no illusion. We are not really cat “owners”, we are cat servants, dedicated to pandering to their every whim. If you have a cat or you’ve ever lived with one, I’m sure you’ll understand a few, if not all, of these!

————————

You slide into a nice hot bath and begin to relax when something starts clawing at the door. Gentle at first, but then something the size of a large monster seems to be trying to break down the bathroom door. It’s the cat… It’s desperate to get to you. You could be drowning or anything! How dare you go into the bathroom alone! You need supervision at all times. The bathroom is a health and safety nightmare.

————————

Cat: “Miaow!” (Translation: “I’m starving!”).

You: “OK, I’ll get you something now.”

Cat: “Miaow, miaow, MIAOW!” (Translation: “Come on! I really am starving. It’s been like half an hour since I last consumed a mere morsel of a biscuit. I could die. FEED ME NOW!!!”).

You open a pack of fancy gourmet tuna cat food and serve it up.

Cat: *Sniffs bowl, huffs and walks off* (Translation: “Meh! Not hungry anymore.”)

————————

You buy an expensive fancy cat activity centre. You excitedly unbox it and build it. Meanwhile, the cat thinks “Yay! A box!” and takes up permanent residency in it, completely ignoring the new activity centre.

————————

A plain old water bowl just isn’t good enough for the cat, it much prefers drinking straight from the tap. So, you buy a water fountain for the cat… and it still prefers the damned tap!

————————

You set for alarm for 6am. The cat sets its internal alarm for 4.30am – 5am and insists you get up and feed it. When you finally drag yourself out of bed and put food in its bowl, you discover the cat has gone back to bed already. Your bed!

————————

Can you relate to these?